Elevating beyond the stresses of agriculture and life

Change has become a constant in agriculture: market fluctuations, artificial intelligence, regulations, and tariffs, just to name a few. Some change is easier to accept, some is painful — but change happens at an increasingly rapid pace.

Stress often accompanies change because we aren’t naturally adept at it. But rest assured — change is the norm. Instead of dreading it, why not identify how you can control your reaction to it?

Life changes

“Life is going to change, and it’s not always going to change for the better. You figure how to change with it,” says Katie Coyne, former Progressive Dairy editor and well-known showmanship judge who owns Mill Wheel Show Clinics in New York.

She should know. Katie is currently battling her third type of cancer after the first tumor was found in 1982 when they discovered she had bone cancer, which was long and drawn-out treatment until she went into remission.

In 2015, change came again when cancer started in her lymph nodes, spreading to her tonsils. She didn’t eat for a month or barely drank water because of the nausea. The teams of doctors were confident — the whole process was six months and Katie believed in healthcare. She also worked in ministry to give people the faith that no matter what, it was going to be OK.

She eventually beat that cancer, too.

Then in late 2023, she was diagnosed with high grade serous carcinoma, which started in her ovaries or uterus. The doctors also found that Katie has a condition that causes her cancer cells to multiply twice as fast as normal cells — so it had already spread to her bones, lungs, and lymph system.

Chemotherapy didn’t work, but she was put on immunotherapy to slow the spread. Then her mouth sores became so bad that she was in a lot of pain, so she had to stop, then started another antibody drug conjugate, hoping for a bit more quality time.

“There’s no way out of it,” she says — her prognosis was 15 to 18 months from August of 2023.

Katie says she’s gotten to do everything that she’s wanted to do in life. “I’ve worked with great cows, great people, raised a family, built relationships. I am at peace.”

She also noted that she’ll see Ireland from heaven, referring to the one trip she hasn’t taken.

Serving others

It is both comforting and heartbreaking to hear a friend talk about her life — and death — in such a way. Katie and I met through YDLI class two decades ago, and she made a point to help my daughter learn about showing at a higher level. She spent hours at one World Dairy Expo going through the finer details of showmanship with Audrey, where it was clear how talented Katie is at connecting with young people.

She’s done the same for hundreds across the country through building her Mill Wheel Show Clinics business, chairing showmanship at World Dairy Expo, and judging numerous shows. I’ve watched junior members come out of her clinics showing at a different level — and know she’s proud of every single one of them.

“If you have a skill, use it to help others. What are your gifts that can be shared with other people. Don’t keep it to yourself,” she says.

She shares all of her secrets about showing; others often ask why she’s doing that and “giving away her edge.” Katie firmly believes in teach them all whatever she can. “It levels everything up. You make everyone and yourself better when you serve others.”

Katie has left a mark across a generation of dairy youth, with lessons that extend beyond the showring. When asked about her passion about youth and showmanship, she says, “This isn’t about teaching kids to show. It’s about getting kids excited about dairy. It’s about bringing new people into the business. You can’t teach them enough.”

Lessons of dairy

In her life of change in the dairy business, these are some of the lessons she’s learned from agriculture that she tries to impart on others.

1. Always learn. Don’t think you know everything. She’s always been a learner and a teacher. You can be more successful when you’re willing to learn, especially in a changing and evolving dairy business.

2. Make sure the people who are around you are there for the right reason. People should enjoy your friendship, perspective, or look to you as a mentor. Be in a relationship for the right reason — there are many people who want to be in a relationship for one reason — and a relationship should be mutually beneficial.

3. Be well-rounded. She points to young people who have excelled in multiple areas rather than solely focusing on cows, sports, or school. “Don’t get stuck in one part of life — everything goes together. Take the opportunities you can e.g. YDLI, different contests, etc.” Katie believes it’s important to stay involved in outside of the business because the bigger picture helps you with smaller picture.

Legacy

When I asked about her legacy, she hopes people will remember that she has a great family. She’s close with her siblings and noted they are in different political parties, and they don’t always agree — but it’s a strong family, and they all have a different role in the cow business.

Family is one of Katie’s favorite things in life — they have a big family because it’s not just siblings, kids, and grandkids; it’s nieces/nephews and lots of cousins. She notes that her family is always there for her as she manages her stress and advises readers to always maintain that family relationship.

She points to the quote, “Your legacy is the people you’ve touched along the way.” Katie says, “It’s so cool to see some little piece no matter where you are (such as her teaching a kid and then that kid teaching another). It’s about how many lives have you touched along the way and those lives have gone on to help others. Legacy means your work will continue.”

Solace amid stress

Katie points out that life is going to throw you curveballs, from divorce to barns burning down to illness.

“Don’t get so wrapped up in the stress that you lose sight,” she says. “When it doesn’t go well, you have to figure out how to evolve to use your gift. Where is the need? Figure out how to move through your problem into something else — don’t put your energy into being negative about it.”

She adds, “We all have stress, but you have to think bigger than the stress. Consider what else can you do.”

Katie finds peace in going to her 200-year-old barn and taking care of show heifers. There’s solace in measuring feed, cleaning pens, taking care of cattle — she loves going to the barn and found it especially helpful after chemotherapy.

World Dairy Expo is one of her favorite things in life. Her whole life has revolved around the Expo for 40 years, from breeding the cattle to getting cows calved in to constantly checking rations — and all the steps in between. She has passed that excitement on; her 4-year-old granddaughter talked about going to Madison, Wisconsin, for a year before the last Expo.

As we wrapped up our conversation, I dug a bit deeper with Katie about purpose — a key to managing stress. “Everyone has a gift. Prioritize your purpose — don’t worry about what you can’t do well. Accept what you can do with your gift when life changes (e.g. teaching showing when she can’t show). e.g. if you’re not good at calf management, find someone who is, and focus on what you can do well. Don’t be afraid to let it evolve — your purpose might change.”

We also discussed her faith, as it’s played a huge role in her finding peace. “Grow faith, teach faith, share faith to make sure someone has whatever they need to be at peace. People try to direct what they want, such as hitting 30,000 pounds of milk production per year. Sometimes you have to let things happen and stop being stressed. Just see what happens” advises Katie.

“I’ve had a pretty charmed life.”

And you’ve charmed many across this business of ours, Katie. Thank you for all you’ve done — including offering an example of grace and grit through life’s most difficult changes.

Michele Payn speaks and writes to help the people of agriculture have tough conversations about normalizing mental wellness, connecting farm to food, and making sense of science. Learn more about her stress management tools for agriculture at causematters.com or follow @mpaynspeaker on social media.